Wabbajack Testing Testing Seven Ate Nine
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Testing Log

Testing Format
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Name of user
User information (optional)
Thought used
Liquid details
Drinking result
Researcher's note (as written by Researcher C███████)


Experiment XXXX-01
User: D-XXXX-1
Thought: Give me energy
Liquid details: Cyan, slightly transparent, glowing, seemed to bubble, water consistency. Sample taken revealed unknown enzyme.
Drinking result: Subject's heart rate increased, breathing increased, pupils dilated 8%. Subject reported feeling almost hyperactive. After three hours, subject's heart rate and breathing slowed back to previous pace, pupils shrank, subject reported they felt normal.
Researcher's note: Investigation on that enzyme revealed almost nothing. There's no reason to believe this is some form of physical energy until we can do furthur testing on this same substance in a battery. -Dr. C███████

Experiment XXXX-02
User: D-XXXX-2
User detail: Subject experiencing chronic depression
Thought: Cure my depression
Liquid details: Light pink, opaque, glowing, liquid experiencing reversed gravity, syrup consistency. Sample taken revealed an almost dangerous amount of an antidepressant compound, along with an unidentified enzyme differing from other experiments.
Drinking results: Subject reported liquid never traveled down the esophagus, implying that the liquid disappeared upon consumption. Over the following ten minutes, subject's posture and expression changed drastically until the subject was sitting upright with a slight smile and soft expression. Subject reported a total mindset change, quoting "I feel like a million bucks!".
Researcher's note: Glad we were able to help the poor man out. I'm almost worried about the amount of that [DATA REDACTED] in the liquid. Even then, we cured a man of his depression. I don't have much to report here. -Dr. C███████

Experiment XXXX-03
User: D-XXXX-3
Thought: Make me rich
Liquid details: Pale green, opaque, liquid appeared to shine, near-solid consistency. Sample taken revealed an unknown enzyme differing from other experiments.
Drinking results: After the subject had fully consumed the flask's contents, they began to show signs consistent with acid reflux. After four minutes, the subject regurgitated a combination of currencies around the world, including Euros, USDs, Yen, and even a 500 Gb SCP USB stick that contained a myriad of cryptocurrency. Subject continued to regurgitate this currency for eight hours. Caffeine injections were provided. After eight hours, the subject fell unconscious, bleeding from their mouth. Subject was stabilized and, later, was revealed to have suffered major lacerations in their throat. Recovery was successful.
Researcher's note: This has been one hell of a test. I'd honestly expected this one to fail. I'm certain the accounts will want to have all of this stuff on hand, but those flash drives are the only anomaly in this situation. After those cryptocurrencies are retrieved, we'll need to test out those flash drives. -Dr. C███████
POST SCRIPT: Flash drives showed no anomalous artifacts of the test. They're safe.

Experiment XXXX-04
User: D-XXXX-04
User detail: Subject had decided to have their ovaries surgically removed, making them sterile. Subject is female.
Thought: Make me pregnant
Liquid details: Bleach white, opaque, slightly cohesive, water consistency. Sample taken revealed a dangerous level of estrogen compounds and an unknown series of enzymes that held the same form, yet differed from both each other and from other experiments. No sperm cells detected in the compound.
Drinking Results: Subject experienced no change for ten minutes, after which subject reported a numbing feeling in their pelvic region. Over the next two hours, subject began to excessively lactate and the belly expanded, consistent with pregnancy. Subject was given abortion pills, but blood samples revealed the enzymes in the original liquid was eradicating the abortion chemicals and preventing abortion. Subject's water broke after six hours, and the child was stillborn. Blood sample from the child revealed a dangerous amount of enzymes that disrupted brain functions and killed the child. Subject expressed extreme distress over the failed abortion and was given full access to reports. Psychoanalysis revealed permanent trauma. Subject refused to cooperate with staff following the test, and was eliminated.
Researcher's note: This test was fucked up… Subject had to be terminated because she basically went crazy. I'm going to have a few tests done, and I want full reports on these enzymes… We're not doing this again…" -Dr. C███████