Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The Bluebird Theater has been purchased by the Foundation and staffed with personnel. No non-foundation personnel are allowed to enter SCP-XXXX; if questioned, ticketholders are to be told that it is used for maintenance purposes.
All footage produced by SCP-XXXX is to be recorded; names of actors and release dates indicated are to be noted. At least one Foundation member with level 3 security clearance or higher is to be present during all tests.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a projection booth and corresponding screen (deemed “theater B”) located in the Bluebird Theater in █████, Wyoming. When a series of movie trailers or other previews are projected within SCP-XXXX, no anomalous properties are shown. However, when this is followed by projecting a movie, another trailer, otherwise not attached to the reel, will precede it. Exhibiting a movie without first playing previews causes no anomalous results.
Trailers produced by SCP-XXXX are for non-existent films, typically in the same genre as the movie projected. These trailers for the most part resemble normal trailers: a series of short scenes, often set to music and accompanied by text or voiceover, which quickly set up the location, characters, and premise of a film. The trailer concludes with roll call of the cast, a title, and a release date that is two to four months from the date viewed. Unlike normal trailers, however, no companies, producers, or directors are mentioned throughout. Furthermore, if any characters are named in the trailer, this will be the same name as the actor supposedly portraying them.
SCP-XXXX came to the attention of Foundation agents after a series of posts on the Bluebird Theater’s ████████ page on 5/7/2013:
Thomas ██████: Do you have any information about the movie “Texas Hold-em-up”? I saw the trailer that played before “Pain and Gain” and it looked cool, but I can’t find anything online.
Bluebird Theater: We have no records of receiving a trailer for a movie of that name. Could you describe it?
Thomas ██████: It was these three guys in Texas who try to rob a bank but end up bungling it. It looked pretty funny. I can’t remember who the actors were; I didn’t recognize any of them. It said it would be released in August.
Bluebird Theater: We’re sorry, we can’t find any trailer fitting that description.
[REDACTED: Five posts agreeing with Thomas that they saw a similar trailer play before Pain & Gain at the Bluebird Theater, further describing the content therein and providing the names of actors Robert █████████, Miguel █████████, and Jackson ███████████, and the release date August 12.]
Jordan ██████: Yeah, that trailer is definitely real. I should know; I’m a projectionist at Bluebird, and it played before every showing of P&G. We probably don’t have record of it because it was one of those trailers attatched to the movie.
Jordan ██████: OK, so I tried to show the managers that trailer, but it didn’t seem to be on the reel. I don’t know where it went.
Foundation agents were sent to investigate possible memory-affecting or memetic anomalies, posing as representatives from the distributors.
Interviewed: Jordan ██████
Interviewer: Agent Moore
Foreword: Interview took place at the Bluebird Theater during subject’s break.
<Begin Log, 5:23 PM>
Agent Moore: So you say you have no idea where this trailer, Texas Hold-em-up, is?
Jordan ██████: Yeah, no. Which is weird, since I was sure that it was one of the ones attached to Pain and Gain.
Agent Moore: Attached?
Jordan ██████: Yeah, like on the same reel. There’s usually one or two trailers the studio puts on the film reel, then the theater chooses what others to play… shouldn’t you guys know this?
Agent Moore: Er, right. Sorry. Just making sure.
Jordan ██████: Yeah. But we checked the reel, and it wasn’t there. The only trailer on the reel is for World War Z.
Agent Moore: Huh.
Jordan ██████: Yeah, and I don’t know where Texas Hold-em’s trailer is. Can’t remember even loading it into the projector.
Agent Moore: Maybe you just got confused.
Jordan ██████: Maybe. But I could have sworn it played with the movie. Hey, what’s the deal with Texas Hold-em-up anyway?
Agent Moore: What do you mean?
Jordan ██████: Like, a bunch of people have been searching for information on it, but there’s nothing.
Agent Moore: Oh, right… well, we believe the trailer was accidentally shipped out. It was for a film that was ultimately cancelled.
Jordan ██████: Does that happen often?
Agent Moore: Cancelling films? All the time.
Jordan ██████: No, I mean, like, sending out trailers for films that never get released.
Agent Moore: Well…
Jordan ██████: Cause that would explain a lot of the other trailers we get.
Agent Moore: Come again?
Jordan ██████: Well, I get to watch the same trailers two to three times a day, so I get a pretty good idea of what films are coming up. But a lot of times, there are trailers for movies that we never get and I never hear about again. I thought maybe they went direct-to-DVD or something, but…
Agent Moore: So this thing happens often?
Jordan ██████: Well, it seems to.
<End Log, 5:27 PM>
Closing Statement: Subject was thanked for his time.
Further agents were sent to view movies at the theater. During this investigation, a second trailer for a non-existent was discovered (Toronto Sky, allegedly a film about a man’s relationship with his terminally ill father, starring George ████████ and Benjamin ████████1, with a release date of August 20) playing before What Maisie Knew in theater B. The Bluebird Theater was purchased by the Foundation on 5/11/2013 and temporarily closed to the public; posts mentioned Texas Hold-em-up were expunged from the Bluebird Theater’s ████████ page, and amnestics were administered to all those who posted and all Theater employees.
Testing showed that these anomalous trailers would only appear in Theater B (SCP-XXXX) and only when a series of regular trailers were played before the feature film. The theater was reopened to the public on 5/17/2013, though SCP-XXXX remained closed for testing.
Research into the actors listed in the trailers found few names corresponding to any people working in the film industry; furthermore, persons that were found did not resemble the person depicted in the trailer. It was initially hypothesized that SCP-XXXX either pulled these trailers from another reality or else wholly fabricated them.
On August 12, the keywords Robert █████████, Miguel █████████, and Jackson ███████████ appeared in a news story for robbing the ███ ████████ Bank in ███ ██████, Texas; details of the robbery displayed a resemblance to scenes described in trailer for Texas Hold-em-up. A new hypothesis, that SCP-XXXX created trailers from future events, was proposed. This hypothesis was supported by the discovery of a death certificate issued for George ████████ of Toronto, Canada, for 8/20/2013, survived by his son, Benjamin; photos obtained match the actors in Toronto Sky that bear their names.
Due to the fractured nature of SCP-XXXX’s footage, as well as lack of recording equipment for most of the events depicted, it has proven difficult to determine how accurately SCP-XXXX’s trailer predict real events, particularly in matters like dialogue. However, no major deviations have been found.
Note: Although the anomalous effects of SCP-XXXX can work with any genre, due to the interests of the Foundation, tests should be primarily done on movies within the horror, science fiction, and fantasy genres.
Movie: Monsters University
Date: 6/25/2013
Trailer Shown: A Friend for Mackenzie
Description of Trailer: A girl moves to a small town, █████████ ██████, where she has trouble making friends, but forms a bond with a horse, Copperfield, at a nearby stable.
Actors: Mackenzie ██████
Release Date: 9/12/2013
Results: █████████ ██████ located in Wyoming. Pedigree for horse named Copperfield Jones Potemkin housed at Potemkin Stables in █████████ ██████ obtained. Registration for a Mackenzie ██████ for █████████ ██████ Elementary obtained.
Movie: The Conjuring (2013)
Date: 7/25/2013
Trailer Shown: Knock Knock, Who’s There
Description of Trailer: A woman is terrorized in her house by an intruder on Halloween.
Actors: Jennifer ██████, Thomas █████████.
Release Date: 10/31/2013
Results: Police in ██████, Maine, reported that Jennifer ██████ was found dead in her house following a home invasion on October 31; an anonymous tip from Foundation agents resulted in the arrest of Thomas █████████ for her murder.
Movie: We’re the Millers (2013)
Date: 8/14/2013
Trailer Shown: Heist!
Description of Trailer: Two criminals attempt to sneak into a Natural History Museum to steal artefacts and sell them on the black market.
Actors: Benny ███████, Geoff █████
Release Date: 11/18/2013
Results: A break-in and theft was reported for the Natural History Museum in ██████, Massachusetts, on November 19.
Movie: Pain & Gain (2013)
Date: 9/2/2013
Trailer Shown: Pedal to the Metal
Description of Trailer: A man steals a red car and leads police on a high-speed chase.
Actors: Harrison █████
Release Date: 11/3/2013
Results: On 11/3/2013, Harrison █████ stole a red car in ████, Illinois, and lead police on a high-speed chase before eventually crashing and getting arrested.
Notes: This shows that movies used in SCP-XXXX may result in different trailers.
Movie: Titanic (1997)
Date: 9/7/2013
Trailer Shown: Bless This Mess
Description of Trailer: An extended family comes together for Thanksgiving.
Actors: Christina █████, Roger █████, Harold █████, Deborah █████, Paul ████████, Louise ████████
Release Date: 11/28/2013
Results: A series of people matching the names and relationships from the trailer was located in XXXXXX, Massachusetts.
Notes: This shows that SCP-XXXX shows trailers for future events regardless of age of movie.
Movie: Insidious: Chapter 2
Date: 9/18/2013
Trailer Shown: For Sale by Owner
Description of Trailer: A man and his family move into a run-down house in order to renovate and resell it; mysterious noises cause them to become distressed. Establishing shots indicate the setting to be in the Chicago area.
Actors: Maxwell ██████ Jr., Louise ██████, William ██████
Release Date: 10/23/2013
Results: House identified and monitored for anomalous activity. Property sold on 10/12/2013 to Maxwell ██████ Jr.; he and his family move in on 20th. Family contacts exterminator on 24th to remove colony of bats; no further unusual activity noted.
Movie: Inception (2010)
Date: 10/2/2013
Trailer Shown: Project Emerald
Description of Trailer: A Foundation scientist works on a project of [DATA EXPUPGED] nature. The actor named as ██████ ███████ can be identified as O5-█.
Actors: James █████████, ██████ ███████
Release Date: 12/2/2013
Results: Dr. James █████████ was contacted and informed of this trailer. He confirmed he was working on a project, codenamed Emerald, that matched the information provided in the trailer. Trailer was subsequently marked as top secret and all researchers who viewed it voluntarily took amnestics.
Notes: Due to the possibility of further security breaches, at least one Foundation member with level 3 security clearance or higher is to monitor all further experiments with SCP-XXXX.
Addendum XXXX-1: Dr. James █████████ reported that nothing unusual pertaining to Project Emerald occurred on December 2.
Movie: Cloverfield (2008)
Date: 10/17/2013
Trailer Shown: The Armageddon Experiment
Description of Trailer: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Actors: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Release Date: 12/24/2013
Results: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept submerged in a bowl of cold water, changed daily. SCP-XXXX is to be cleaned before and after testing. D-182930 is to be assigned exclusively to SCP-XXXX. Tests are not to last longer than sixty minutes, and D-182930 is to be monitored for any changes in behavior following tests (see Addendum XXXX-3).
Description: SCP-XXXX is a pair of dentures. When not inserted in a human mouth, it is able to open and close itself and hop around. When inserted into a human mouth2, it is able to produce vocalizations resembling those of an elderly human woman.
SCP-XXXX was acquired from among the possessions of Ruth XXXXX following her death on 7/3/19XX. SCP-XXXX’s ambulatory properties were noted and as such, it was registered as AE-2782 pending further tests.
Subject: D-182930
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Logan
Foreword: D-182930 was chosen for testing with SCP-XXXX due to his dental records indicating compatible jawbone structure; subject’s teeth were subsequently extracted. Subject was instructed to place SCP-XXXX (then registered AE-2782) into mouth.
<Begin Log>
Logan: D-182930, would you kindly insert SCP-XXXX into your mouth?
D-182930: [unintelligible]3
Logan: I’m sorry?
D-182930: [unintelligible]4
Logan: I can’t understand what you’re saying. Please put SCP-XXXX in your mouth.
Subject appears reluctant, but complies.
Logan: Now then, tell me how you feel.
A female voice emanates from subject’s mouth. Subject appears distressed.
SCP-XXXX: I feel just great, sonny-boy! I was wondering when you would finally get around to putting me—
Subject removes SCP-XXXX and tosses it onto the table. Subject refuses to reinsert it. Subject is restrained and SCP is forcibly reinserted.
SCP-XXXX: Well, that was rather rude, wasn’t it?
Logan: Well, he was disobeying orders, but I suppose it was otherwise understandable.
SCP-XXXX: Hmmph. Have someone fling you around, see how understandable you feel about that.
Logan: Well, uh… I guess this is now an interview log.
SCP-XXXX: Inter—? Well, okay. Ask away, sonny-boy!
Logan: Er… so, do you have a name?
SCP-XXXX: Well, of course I do! It’s Ruth XXXXX, but you can call me “Ruthie” or “Granny” if you like.
Logan: May I call you AE-2782? That’s sort of the standard around here.
SCP-XXXX: Eh? Oh, I suppose that’s alright.
Logan: Now, uh… you appear to be a pair of false teeth.
SCP-XXXX: Well, of course I do! That’s ‘cause I am a pair of false teeth, sonny-boy! I transferred part of my soul into these, so that I could live on after my body died!
Logan: Okay… and how exactly did you do that?
SCP-XXXX: Oh, there were instructions in this book I had… Don’t remember what they were, though. Only had to do it once, after all. Though that wouldn’t make any difference for me; I never was much for remembering recipes. Couldn’t even make mashed potatoes without having to look up the directions.
Logan: Did you use this book for other things?
SCP-XXXX: No, not really. It was filled with spells for summoning demons to do your bidding, casting plagues down on your enemies, that sort of thing. I wasn’t interested in that sort of stuff.
Logan: Right. Now, I’d love to ask you some more questions, but there’s a lot of paperwork I have to fill out. Will you be okay with going back in storage temporarily?
SCP-XXXX: Oh, alright. I mean, I’ve had to be in a glass of water every night, after all.
Logan: Good, good.
<End Log>
Subject: D-182930
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Logan
Foreword: Subject is restrained and SCP-XXXX is inserted into his mouth.
<Begin Log>
Logan: AE-2782?SCP-XXXX: Here I am!
Logan: Okay… just so you know, you’ve been fully registered and redesignated as SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX: I don’t know what that means.
Logan: Don’t worry, it’s mostly just for inventorial purposes. Now, did you have a pleasant night?
SCP-XXXX: As pleasant as being submerged in water could be.
Logan: But being in a mouth is better, correct?
SCP-XXXX: Well, I have to admit, it’s a bit strange being in a male body. It has… different bits than I’m used to.
Logan: Hold on. So you’re able to sense the rest of the body you’re occupying? Not just the mouth, I mean?
SCP-XXXX: Eh? Oh, right, of course I am. I mean, this fellow can feel me in his mouth, so I should be able to feel how he feels, right? Just makes sense.
Logan: D-182930; just to clarify, you’re able to feel SCP-XXXX, correct?
Subject shrugs
Logan: So, SCP-XXXX, you can feel what D-182930 feels?
SCP-XXXX: I can; heat, cold, pain, everything. And I can smell and taste through him too.
Logan: And do you need him to be able to hear and see?
SCP-XXXX: No, actually. It helps, but these teeth have a sort of sense for… vision and sound and stuff. When they’re out of a body, I can feel them being handled or submerged in water or whatever, and I can also sort of… pick up vibrations? So I know what people are saying around me, and I can get a feel of where they are… it’s a bit hard to explain.
Logan: And you don’t know how it works?
SCP-XXXX: Well, no. The book never mentioned anything about it… I mean, I’m grateful, and it’s better than nothing, but it’s still shoddy, you know? Like, my old body had awful eyesight, and I had to wear these thick glasses, but it was still better than that. And then I had to use a hearing aid, and… well, yeah.
Logan: We might want to do some tests on that.
SCP-XXXX: If you want. Say, I’m getting a bit peckish. Could you dears whip up something for me? Nothing too tough.
Logan: I’ll see what I can arrange.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: [Subject was fed grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup, and chocolate cake. SCP-XXXX expressed enjoyment.]
Subject: D-182930
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Logan
Foreword: Subject is restrained and SCP-XXXX is inserted into his mouth.
<Begin Log>
Introductions RedactedLogan: Now, SCP-XXXX… I’ve been looking over your file, and there seems to be a few discrepancies. I’m hoping you might be able to clear them up.
SCP-XXXX: I’ll see what I can do.
Logan: Well, in our previous interview, you claimed that your previous body needed glasses and a hearing aid… but according to her medical files, Ruth XXXXX didn’t need either. Her vision and sight were almost perfect. And there weren’t any glasses or hearing aids among her possessions, either.
SCP-XXXX: Oh, is that all? You must have misunderstood me; it was my original body that had the glasses, and the one after that had the hearing aid. My last one didn’t need either.
Logan: I’m sorry, the body of Ruth XXXXX wasn’t your original?
SCP-XXXX: Well, they shared the same name, MY name… but I adopted the other bodies.
Logan: Please explain.
SCP-XXXX: Well, once I got to about sixty or so, I went out and found myself a young girl, one small enough for me to handle. Then I brought her home, plucked out her teeth, and jabbed my dentures into her mouth. After a few hours, my soul overwrote hers and I had a brand new body… I say, could you try and settle this fellow down a little?
During this time, subject had become extremely distressed and began thrashing about. The interview was resumed following sedation.
Logan: Sorry about that.
SCP-XXXX: Eh, no worries.5
Logan: So, uh… should we be concerned about you bonding with this body?
SCP-XXXX: No, it’s not cumulative. It only takes if the teeth are in the mouth for a long enough time.
Logan: Yeah… we’re still going to take better precautions.
SCP-XXXX: Understandable.
Logan: So, this taking over of bodies… You did this often?
SCP-XXXX: Well, I’ve only done it twice so far; the initial time, then about fifty years later. When I moved to a new town, I made sure I kept on friendly terms with the neighbors, especially the kids. That way, no one would suspect me when they went missing. Then I put my soul into their body and kept it hidden away for a few months before I moved—once again, so not to raise too much suspicion. I introduced my new body as my granddaughter, and we lived like that until my old body died a decade or two later.
Logan: Why didn’t you do that this time?
SCP-XXXX: Well, for one thing, it’s gotten harder to actually kidnap any children, even for a harmless old lady like me. Kids have gotten smarter, parents more protective… plus, the last body I had had a bad case of arthritis. So I never got the chance, or put it off until too late, or whatever.
Logan: Mm-hmm.
SCP-XXXX: But luckily, you fellows found me, and now I’m able to live on! I mean, it’s not a permanent body, but I can still eat and talk and things…
Logan: Except that this is probably this last chance you’ll get.
SCP-XXXX: What? I told you, my soul won’t overwrite until—
Logan: Even if I trusted you, and I have no reason to, I wouldn’t want you to have the privilege of doing this. It would be entirely possible for us to just stick you in a box and forget about you, but we usually try to treat our sentient skips with a bit of humanity. I was planning to allow a few hours to be set aside each week for you to be inserted into this D-Class subject so you could talk and eat, but you just admitted to kidnapping and effectively killing two children, so I no longer feel obliged to. And, frankly, you’re not that important or interesting for us to keep doing this.
SCP-XXXX: Why you… If you try to lock me up, I’ll…
Logan: What? Bite my ankles? Yeah, until you’re able to pose any sort of credible threat, you’re still classified as “safe”.
SCP-XXXX: You little…
Logan: Goodbye, Granny.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Despite attempts to bite the researchers’ fingers, SCP-XXXX was removed from subject’s mouth with little difficulty.
Addendum XXXX-4: Interviews of SCP-XXXX are to continue by order of Dr. Jack Bright. Retrieval of information about the creation of SCP-XXXX, or the book used therein, are to be prioritized.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept submerged in a bowl of cold water, changed daily. SCP-XXXX is to be cleaned before and after testing. D-182930 is to be assigned exclusively to SCP-XXXX. Tests are not to last longer than sixty minutes, and D-182930 is to be monitored for any changes in behavior following tests (see Addendum XXXX-3).
Description: SCP-XXXX is a pair of dentures with minor ambulatory properties. When inserted into a human mouth6, it is able to produce vocalizations resembling those of an elderly human woman.
SCP-XXXX was acquired from the home of Ruth █████ following her death on 7/3/19XX. █████’s housekeeper, Julie █████████, contacted local dentist Dr. Henry █████, reporting unusual behavior by SCP-XXXX and inquiring whether that was normal for dentures. Following interception by Foundation agents, █████████ and █████ were given amnestics; SCP-XXXX was recovered and registered as AE-2782 pending further tests.
Subject: D-182930
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Logan
Foreword: D-182930 was chosen for testing with SCP-XXXX due to his dental records indicating compatible jawbone structure; subject’s teeth were subsequently extracted. Subject was instructed to place SCP-XXXX (then registered AE-2782) into mouth.
<Begin Log>
Logan: D-182930, would you kindly insert SCP-XXXX into your mouth?
D-182930: [unintelligible]7
Logan: I’m sorry?
D-182930: [unintelligible]8
Logan: I can’t understand what you’re saying. Please put SCP-XXXX in your mouth.
[Subject appears reluctant, but complies.]
Logan: Now then, tell me how you feel.
A female voice emanates from subject’s mouth. Subject appears distressed.
SCP-XXXX: I feel great, now that I’m in a mouth again! I was worried that you were never going to—
Subject removes SCP-XXXX and tosses it onto the table. Subject refuses to reinsert it. Subject is restrained and SCP is forcibly reinserted.
SCP-XXXX: Ooh! That gave me quite a scare, that did! Being flung about like that…
Logan: Well, he was disobeying orders, but it was otherwise understandable. He must have been freaked out, suddenly
Subjects nods profusely.
SCP-XXXX: I guess. But you don’t seem that surprised…
Logan: Well, that’s sort of my job. Doing research on anomalous objects.
SCP-XXXX: Well, that’s a relief! I was scared that you all might be scared of me. What’s your name, anyway?
Logan: Er, Dr. Gregory Logan.
SCP-XXXX: Well, nice to meet you, Gregory! I’m Ruth █████, but you can call me “Ruthie” or “Granny” if you like.
Logan: May I call you AE-2782? That’s sort of the standard around here.
SCP-XXXX: Eh? Oh, I suppose that’s alright.
Logan: Now, uh… you appear to be a pair of false teeth.
SCP-XXXX: [laughter] Nothing gets past you, does it? But I guess you’re wondering how I became a pair of false teeth.
Logan: If you could, please.
SCP-XXXX: Well… it’s sort of embarrassing, actually. I was what they called an old maid… no husbands, no children, no legacy. And I was never really religious, so I was terrified of the thought of dying. And as I grew older, and my body weaker, the thought frightened me more and more… and then I found this book…
Logan: Go on.
SCP-XXXX: Well, it was a book of witchcraft. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not a witch or anything. I just found it in a bookshop, and I was curious… so I took it home.
Logan: Did this book have a title?
SCP-XXXX: Not that I could tell… and it didn’t have an author listed either. It was just a collection of spells, it seemed. And most of them seemed fairly benign… spells to make plants grow faster, that sort of thing. But some of them… some of them were for things like how to curse your enemies, or bring down plagues… But I didn’t use those! I would never do something like that…
Logan: I’m sure you wouldn’t.
SCP-XXXX: And I didn’t try any of the other spells either… except for one. There was one that said, “how to live forever”, and I was so scared of dying… and the instructions seemed safe enough…
Logan: So you tried it.
SCP-XXXX: I did. There were some ingredients I had to mix together… a pot of water with spices and other things… I can’t remember what it was exactly, it was so long ago and I never had a good memory for that sort of thing anyway, I’m sorry…
Logan: Don’t worry.
SCP-XXXX: But afterwards, I had to add a drop of my blood, then my teeth—it didn’t say it needed to be teeth, but it was the simplest option—then I recited an incantation, and when it was done, it was like I was in the teeth… but also still in my old body? And when I put my teeth back in, I was whole again. But when I took them out at night, I could tell my soul was still in the teeth and I could sort of control them independently… I’m sure how to explain it better.
Logan: I think I get the gist of it. And then your body died… but you continued to live on through your teeth?
SCP-XXXX: Exactly! But I didn’t have anyone to put me in their mouth… I was so scared. I rattled about in the vain hope that someone would save me… and then I was taken here. I was nervous when they said they were going to run tests on me, but luckily, you decided to put me in a mouth!
Logan: It seemed like a natural experiment.
SCP-XXXX: Well, why ever you did it, I’m grateful! I was scared I was going to be stuck that was forever. But you came along and… Oh boy! I’m kind of glad I finally have someone to talk to again. I could talk for hours!
Logan: I’d love to do that, and I’m sure there are a lot of questions about your condition you could answer, but unfortunately, there’s a lot of paperwork I have to fill out. Will you be okay with going back in storage temporarily?
SCP-XXXX: Oh, alright. I mean, I’ve had to be in a glass of water every night, after all.
Logan: Good, good.
<End Log>
Subject: D-182930
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Logan
Foreword: Subject is restrained and SCP-XXXX is inserted into his mouth.
<Begin Log>
Logan: AE-2782?SCP-XXXX: Here I am!
Logan: Okay… just so you know, you’ve been fully registered and redesignated as SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX: I don’t know what that means.
Logan: Don’t worry, it’s mostly just for inventorial purposes. Now, did you have a pleasant night?
SCP-XXXX: As pleasant as being submerged in water could be.
Logan: But being in a mouth is better, correct?
SCP-XXXX: Well, I have to admit, it’s a bit strange being in a male body. It has… different bits than I’m used to.
Logan: I might be able to get you a female body, if you’d prefer.
SCP-XXXX: Really? You’d do that for me?
Logan: Well, uh… it may be difficult. Human resources doesn’t really like us performing unnecessary body modifications on D-Class personnel.
SCP-XXXX: You mean extracting teeth so you can put me in, eh?
Logan: Right.
SCP-XXXX:
Logan: So, Granny… oh! Sorry, I mean SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX: Huh? Oh, go right ahead and call me Granny. I said you could.
Logan: No, uh… I’m only supposed to refer to you by designation. Protocol, you know.
SCP-XXXX: Why’s that? ‘Granny’ seems much easier to remember.
Logan: I think it’s so we don’t form emotional bonds with the entities.
SCP-XXXX: Oh… right.
Logan: I mean, it’s nothing personal. It’s just that some of the sentients here can be dangerous, or unpredictable. It’s a safety precaution.
SCP-XXXX: I guess that makes sense. Of course, I don’t know how dangerous a pair of false teeth could actually be.
Logan: [laughs] Right, especially one with the personality of an old woman.
SCP-XXXX: I don’t know; I know some old women who can be pretty devious.
Logan: [laughs] So, um, where was I… Oh, right! So, um, you’re able to sense what body you’re in?
SCP-XXXX: I can, yes.
Logan: And you can feel what D-182930 feels? Physically, I mean?
SCP-XXXX: I can; heat, cold, pain, everything. And I can smell and taste through him too.
Logan: And do you need him to be able to hear and see?
SCP-XXXX: No, actually. It helps, but these teeth have a sort of sense for… vision and sound and stuff. When they’re out of a body, I can feel them being handled or submerged in water or whatever, and I can also sort of… pick up vibrations? So I know what people are saying around me, and I can get a feel of where they are… it’s a bit hard to explain.
Logan: And you don’t know how it works?
SCP-XXXX: Well, no. The book never mentioned anything about it… I mean, I’m grateful, and it’s better than nothing, but it’s still shoddy, you know? Like, my old body had awful eyesight, and I had to wear these thick glasses, but it was still better than that. And then I had to use a hearing aid, and… well, yeah.
Logan: We might want to do some tests on that.
SCP-XXXX: If you want. Say, I’m getting a bit peckish. Could you dears whip up something for me? Nothing too tough.
Logan: I’ll see what I can arrange.
<End Log>
Afterword: [Subject was fed grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup, and chocolate cake. SCP-XXXX expressed enjoyment.]
Subject: D-182930
Interviewer: Dr. Gregory Logan
Foreword: Subject is restrained and SCP-XXXX is inserted into his mouth.
<Begin Log>
Introductions RedactedLogan: Now, SCP-XXXX… I’ve been looking over your file, and there seems to be a few discrepancies. I’m hoping you might be able to clear them up.
SCP-XXXX: I’ll see what I can do.
Logan: Well, in our previous interview, you claimed that your previous body needed glasses and a hearing aid… but according to her medical files, Ruth XXXXX didn’t need either. Her vision and sight were almost perfect. And there weren’t any glasses or hearing aids among her possessions, either.
SCP-XXXX: Oh, that… well, I’m afraid I may have told you a bit of a fib regarding that spell…
Logan: Fib?
SCP-XXXX: No, not a fib, even! Just a part of the ritual that slipped my mind… I’m quite forgetful you know.
Logan: But you remember now?
SCP-XXXX: Yes. You see, part of my soul lived on in the teeth, but you can’t really live as a pair of teeth, you know? That’s why you have this man here. And so the book said that after the ritual, I had to insert the teeth—or whatever I had put my soul into—I had to put it into the body of a living human, and then after a few hours, my soul would overwrite theirs, and I would have a new, permanent body—Oh! Oh dear. Could you try and settle him down a bit?
During this time, subject had become extremely distressed and began thrashing about. The interview was resumed following sedation.
Logan: Sorry about that.
SCP-XXXX: Eh, no worries.9
Logan: So, uh… should we be concerned about you bonding with this body?
SCP-XXXX: No, it’s not cumulative. It… well, it’s hard to explain, but it’s like my soul slowly drains from the teeth into the new body, but when they’re taken out, the soul drains out, you know? So until the process is complete, there’s not really any effect.
Logan: And so with the glasses and the hearing aid… you took over other bodies?
SCP-XXXX: Well, I had to, so I could keep living. Outside the teeth, I mean.
Logan: How many times?
SCP-XXXX: Only twice so far, actually. About every forty years… I don’t do it unnecessarily, mind you. And only with people who won’t be missed… like you did with this fellow here. Girls in their twenties who were new in town, whose parents already died, or were estranged from her… no beau, no close friends… I would hire her as a live-in caretaker, and then, in about a week, use ether to knock her out so I could extract her teeth and put my dentures in. My soul would transfer into her body, and my old body… well, I’m not sure whether it was due to the soul transfer or because I no longer needed to cling to life, but my old body would die after a few days. And then in my new body, I would take over my old finances… I would say I was my own niece. It was a chore, but it was worth it.
Logan: So your housekeeper… the one who discovered your teeth…
SCP-XXXX: Ah, yes, Julie. She had been in the hospital for the last few months… they said she had tried to kill herself. And I thought, well, if she doesn’t appreciate having her young body, why let it go to waste? So I hired her, and I was planning to complete the ritual, but then just a couple days later, my body went and died! Can you believe it? So when Julie comes in and discovers my body, I started splashing around in my glass, hoping in vain that somehow that would make her curious and put me in her mouth… of course, she still had her teeth, and I doubt she would have left them in for long enough for me to take over, but hey, I was desperate. But luckily, you folks came along, and now I’m in this fellow! So all’s well that ends well, I guess. [Silence for five seconds] Er… Dr. Logan?
Logan: I… I thought you were just a sweet old lady.
SCP-XXXX: I am a sweet old lady! Well, a pair of teeth, but…
Logan: No! You’re old, and you’re a lady, but you’re not sweet. You’re a killer.
SCP-XXXX: Hey, I never killed anyone! I merely put my teeth into their mouths…
Logan: Knowing it would destroy their souls! And you had to remove their teeth to do so…
SCP-XXXX: Well, you removed this fellow’s teeth, right? And you offered to remove a woman’s teeth for me…
Logan: Yeah, but… but we didn’t kill them…
SCP-XXXX: I… Look, I wanted to live! These other girls… I still had so much to live for! I would have died by now without them! Why should they get to live and not me?
Logan: Why should you get to live and not them? [To guards in room] No! I’m… I’m going to finish the interview. I’m going to finish the test.
SCP-XXXX: Look, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But I was scared of how you would react! I was scared that you would get upset…
Logan: I am upset!
SCP-XXXX: Yes, but… but this man still has his own soul, right? So no harm, no foul. And now you know a bit more about how my teeth work… Look, I promise to be completely honest with you from now on. I’m sorry… just give me another chance. [Silence for seven seconds] Dr. Logan?
Logan: This interview is over.
SCP-XXXX: Look, I know you’re upset, but you’ll calm down, eventually… and when we talk again—
Logan: We won’t talk again! No more conversations, no more meals… no more!
SCP-XXXX: Wha… You can’t just stop our interviews!
Logan: Yes I can! You’re safe-class! And despite everything, you’re still safe-class! We could stick you in a box and… and just leave you there, and nothing will happen!
SCP-XXXX: But what about me? What about… what about the teeth? I might have some more information on the teeth! Or the spellbook!
Logan: I don’t care! [To guards] I’m almost finished! Settle down!
SCP-XXXX: Please, Logan! I… I want to feel things! I want to live!
Logan: Goodbye, Granny.
<End Log>
Afterword: Despite attempts to bite the guards’ fingers, SCP-XXXX was removed from subject’s mouth with little difficulty.
Addendum XXXX-1: Interviews with SCP-XXXX are to continue by order of Dr. Jack Bright. Information about the creation of SCP-XXXX, or the book used therein, are to be prioritized. Request by Dr. Logan to be transferred approved.