A still of SCP-XXXX, showing SCP-XXXX-A.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in Secure Locker 24 on Storage Site-64.

All illegal substances are to be kept at least 30 meters away from any SCP-XXXX-B instances. All SCP-XXXX-B instances are to be given a non-anomalous copy of "Kaiba" to help with their anger.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a Blu-Ray disc with the words "D.A.R.E. Against Drugs!" written on it in black sharpie. The case containing SCP-XXXX is all red with the Drug Abuse Resistance Education (D.A.R.E) logo in the center.

When played, SCP-XXXX will show the entirety of the Japanese television show "Kaiba" directed by Masaaki Yuasa. The show's plot is changed to being related to drug activities, and to be more kid-friendly, heavily altering the events of the show to fit the theme. Before and after every episode, a message states "Mr. D.A.R.E., by Gamers Against Weed says: SAY NO TO DRUGS".

SCP-XXXX-A is the designation used to refer to the protagonist of the show, Kaiba. If at any point, any person watching the show diverts their attention away from the screen, SCP-XXXX-A will attempt to call back the person watching. If anyone talks during the show, SCP-XXXX-A will join in on the conversation. If any illegal substance is present during the show, the television screen would turn off. Any attempts to replay the disc will fail until the illegal substance is removed

Any person who has watched SCP-XXXX in its entirety become SCP-XXXX-B instance. SCP-XXXX-B instances show an aversion to any and all illegal substances, and gets irritable and angry unless the show "Kaiba" is on any television screen.

If any illegal substance is in a 30 meter proximity of an SCP-XXXX-B instance, a hole becomes present on the chest of said instance. The hole expands the closer the substances are in relation to the instance. When an illegal substance is within 5 meters of an SCP-XXXX-B instance, they become violent and attempt to attack the person who is trying to give them the illegal substances. When an instance intakes any illegal substance, the hole in their chest will expand, and eject the drug from the body.

SCP-XXXX-B can converse to SCP-XXXX-A even when a television is off. When talking to SCP-XXXX-A, they usually talk about drug use and the opioid epidemic in New Hampshire. After the first time an instance of SCP-XXXX-B converses with SCP-XXXX-A, Document XXXX-1 is found in their possession. It is currently unknown how instances gain Document XXXX-1.

Addendum XXXX-1: Interview XXXX-1

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-A

Interviewer: Dr. Ashley

Foreward: Dr. Ashley is a fan of Kaiba. He was the volunteer chosen to execute the interview due to this quality

<Begin Log>

Dr. Ashley: Hello, uh, Kaiba.

SCP-XXXX-A: Hello!

Dr. Ashley: Um, I wanted to talk to you.

SCP-XXXX-A: Sure, shoot.

Dr. Ashley: Uh, why did you release the s-show.

SCP-XXXX-A: Well, I like to entertain, I've always loved seeing people smile doing stuff they enjoy.

Dr. Ashley: Okay, but why is it against drugs?

SCP-XXXX-A: It's because… it's because… I don't know, to be honest. I feel like there's something about me, in the back of my head, that just despises drugs, you hear me? I don't know why, but it's always been there.

Dr. Ashley: Alright, so, what is the first thing that you remember.

SCP-XXXX-A: The last thing I remember, um, I remember my name, Kaiba, and my show, and me talking to you, and that's about it.

Dr. Ashley: Do you remember anything else, about who orchestrated this.

SCP-XXXX-A: Oh, now I think I remember. Some guy, he called himself FunkoPopFan1, he told me that he would help with my project.

Dr. Ashley: Can you tell us more about this "FunkoPopFan1"

SCP-XXXX-A: Um… I guess not. I don't know much about him other than that he helped me make the show.

Dr. Ashley: Can I ask you another question.

SCP-XXXX-A: I don't have a time limit, so sure. Ask as many as you want.

Dr. Ashley: Are you aware of any Japanese show named "Kaiba".

SCP-XXXX-A: No… wait, are you sure there is a show called that.

Dr. Ashley: Yes, there is.

SCP-XXXX-A: I'm gonna have to check it out.

Dr. Ashley: Um, alright, uh, one last question, and I'll be leaving.

SCP-XXXX-A: Okay, go ahead.

Dr. Ashley: Do you, recall, anything related to "Gamers Against Weed".

SCP-XXXX-A: Gamers Against Weed… sort of, I guess. They helped me make my show, and that's all I know.

Dr. Ashley: Okay, that's all the time I have for you today.

SCP-XXXX-A: [sighs] Thank you for talking to me, new friend.

[Dr. Ashley is observed to have Document XXXX-1 in his hands.]

Dr. Ashley: Did… did he just call me "friend"?

<End Log>

Addendum XXXX-2: Document XXXX-1

Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. D.A.R.E. by Gamers Against Weed! SAY NO TO DRUGS! Who is Dr. Wondertainment?

Find them all and become Mr. Gamer!

01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer
02. Mr. Normie
03. Mr. Bernie Sanders
04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop
20. Mr. Sex Number
21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues
22. Mr. Deadly Sins
23. Mr. Original Character
24. Mr. D.A.R.E. ✔
25. Mr. Gentrification
26. Ms. Mad About Video Games
27. Mr. Meme
28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued)
29. Mr. Destiny
30. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail
31. Ms. Zapatista
32. Mr. Hax
33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo
34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text
35. Mr. Finale

Addendum XXXX-3: Memo to Head Researcher James Lacey

April 14th, 2018


Recently, the contents of SCP-XXXX have been changing. SCP-XXXX seems to be less about stopping drugs, and more about doing drugs.

SCP-XXXX-A has seemingly fallen into a depression, completely abandoning all of his prior rhetoric about not doing drugs and has started to become a drug addict, wallowing himself in heroin and liquor. The hole in his chest has completely disappeared as well.

Requesting SCP-XXXX-A be put on suicide watch


Addendum XXXX-4: Memo to Dr. Vincent Ashley


Dr. Ashley,

What is currently happening with SCP-XXXX-A worries me greatly, approval of putting SCP-XXXX-A on suicide watch.

Suggestion, why not talk to it, it seems to like you.

James Lacey
Head Researcher for SCP-XXXX

PS: When doing work memos, please be a bit more formal in your signatures.